Colors

Pink or Blue
One or the other
I feel like I'm both
Sometimes I'm pink and blue
Sometimes I'm just pink.
Sometimes I'm just blue.
On certain days I feel pink,
But there's still a bit of blue.
Other times I think I'm blue,
then out of nowhere pink pops in.
I'm one or the other for sure
How much and when,
I can never be sure of.
But let me be pink when I want to
Let me be blue when I want to
Let me be pink with a dash of blue
You can see me however you want
But let me be
Pink, Blue, sometimes Purple too

From one Artist to Another

My Love, 

I miss you. I know you tell you this thousands of times, but you don't understand just how much I miss you. Hopefully, you'll come home soon 
You ask me to come back with you to America, but I cannot. You above anything or anyone are my one true home. But when we spent that summer in New York, you were not my home. You were different. The kindness in your eyes and the warmth in your heart was not the same as it is when you are in Mexico, with me. 
Maybe it's the people there. I know those artists, as the call themselves, have a tendency to to pull and take. They change you. You are not the same man I met many years ago when you are with them. In Mexico I met a stubborn man who had great passion for creating art that satisfied him, and him only. Now all I see is a man who works for Money instead of working parque su alma lo demanda. It used to be about the hard work and the pride, now it's for these silly pieces of paper and people who care nothing about who we are and where we come from.
Come home, regresa a tú tierra. Feel the dirt under your feet and the sun on your back. We can argue and yell with each other all you want. But we'll paint all the madness created from our chaotic love. Come be my home again, even if you don't need me as much as I need you. For at least the little bit of you that you do need, is a bit that brings out some of the best in you. That neither you or I could ever deny. 

Forever Yours , 
F.K.R

Faith

We must wait, they say
We must be patient, they say
They say we must trust in what we know

You are told to have faith
You are told that when all else fails, God will always be there
God has a plan for everyone
Why do some of his plans seem shitty

I wait every day and night
Patiently and trusting that good will come
I think I know that he's watching over us

But I can only think, I can't know
That's the scariest thing for me
Not knowing is my one weakness
Not knowing has too much of a risk

Wait, be patient, trust
Have faith, God will be there
He has a plan for everyone

Bad things happen to good people
How could God want that?
Bad people have so much power
How could God want that?

Is it even his doing?
Is he even there?
Are we even worth saving?

Maybe that's the real truth
The truth that we’re all too scared to believe
We’re not worth it
Why should God waste his time on us?

We can only hope we're good enough
We trust that there's someone out there
We have faith that someone will save us

Maybe God wants us to save ourselves

Not So Average Tuesday Shift

He walks in and right away catches my attention.

Dark hair peeking out of his hat.
Smooth face, nicely shaved.
Soft smile and kind eyes.
He has pale skin, and a couple of freckles
Adorable
He's not the tallest, but not short.
But hey, who am I to complain about height

I have to take his order, it's my job.

I walk up to him as I normally would
I try not to blush. But fail, stupidly.
I make a mental note to remember his name.
My coworker and I share giggles as I walk back to the kitchen.
I knew she and a couple of the cooks were watching me through the window
She encourages me to give him my number
But I'm too scared

He's athletic. The muscles on his arms show nicely though his tight shirt
He has a cool mystery to his presence.
Maybe it's the smirk on his lips, or the two piercings on his left ear.
Or maybe it's the fact that he's wearing all black.

Very intimidating

I pack up his food as calmly as possible.
I try to avoid eye contact.
You know playing casual/hard to get a bit
While I'm putting the napkins in his to go bag I slip in a small piece of paper

I walk smoothly over to him and hand him the bag,
 “thank you for coming, have a nice day.” I said to him as I would to any other customer.

And he's gone

“Did you give him your number ! ?” My coworker eagerly asks me barely controlling her excitement.

I laugh at her reaction
"Yup. Now I wait.”

Wow, what a Tuesday.

ABC

An old man sits at the bar
Bartenders make drinks and pass out beers
Coronas to be spesfic
Dinner rush has yet to begin
Enter an old scary boss
Fuck
Grey hairs appear on his side burns
Hairs are constantly getting thinniner
I don't think I've ever seen such a shinny head
Just remember to stay on his good side
Knowing him, he'll make you cry without even trying
Look right above his eyes, and get back to work
More customers come, but all at once
None of them care that it's too busy
Or the fact that there is literally no space to seat them
People can be asses
Quickly pull on a smile and try not to upset the customer
Remember the customer is always right
Servers are running around like ants
Take their order table by table, keep moving
Usually tables leave after eating, but some like to stay hours after
Very few leave their table in decent condition
Well it's the Busters problem to deal with mess
X. Screw it,  I just worked a seven hour shift, I'm tired.
Yay the days done !
Zero tips, typical night

Routine

Every morning he wakes up to the same bird chirping outside his window.
Every morning he rises off the right side of his bed, and he stretches his left arm first.

On Mondays breakfast must be two eggs, a glass of orange juice, and one strip of bacon.
On Mondays after he's had breakfast he might take a pudding cup with him for later’s lunch. That is if he's in a good mood.
Though often the pudding stays in the pantry.

Dinner is different. Dinner can be anything he wants and doesn't have to worry about precautions.

Only if it isn't a Friday.
Friday dinners are very important. They're special. Every Friday night he sets a neat and simple table. Plated for two and a single lit candle in the middle.
He spends the whole day preparing homemade pasta and sauce for Fridays dinner.

Every Friday he sets a table for two, and enjoys a lovely meal for one.

Each night he tucks himself under the covers on the right side of the bed.
He lays his hand the pillow on the left side and closes his eyes.
Each night right before he falls asleep he takes ten  slow deep breaths.

A small smile settles on his face and a new day awaits.

Four Walls

Four Walls

I can still remember the pretty pink walls that used to surround us. Small purple flowers were painted along the ceiling and the floor was scattered with tons of Barbie doll accessories. You always came over to play, and my bedroom was our perfect portal to an amazing adventure. Of course things change and it's no longer as innocent as it used to be.

Purple became our next backdrop. Posters of hot teen boys covered one entire wall, while the floor was now littered with nail polish and dirty shirts. It wasn't exactly a portal, escape felt like a better word. So many new and scary things were beginning to occur, but within these four walls we didn't have to be afraid of all the change. We did our homework and then pulled out trending magazines. The perfect Friday night.

But with High School came even more changes. Pale blue was in and the walls were then covered in polaroid pictures of the people who made us smile the brightest. Real flowers and candles had been displayed aesthetically. Books and high heels were neatly set up on the floor in the corners of the room. It felt more grown up, we were more grown up.

We crammed for midterms and picked out the perfect outfits for the dances. Laughs and tears were constantly shared in this new version of this old room. Maybe a little more tears than laughs sometimes. We sat on my bed as hipster Christmas lights hung around the walls. Our arms wrapped tightly around each other and our eyes puffy and red. Make up all smudge and our hair in knots. It sounds like your typical teenage angst, and it really was. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

That room became a place where it was okay to not be okay.

Next change. The walls are white now and there are still pictures, just less of them. My astronomy posters now lay over my bed. Small little succulent plants sit by the window and there are entire shelves of books. Its mature, I'm mature now. Taking long naps before the night shifts and morning classes with the weirdest professors. My miss match socks pace back and forth on the hardwood floor as I try to figure out if I really do love him!

All these adult feelings and experiences I'm going through, without you. So many changes I have no control over and you're not here. Sitting in a room I've had all my life and has changed along with me no longer gets me through the day like it used to. I know it's not all your fault, and I try so hard not to be upset.

But . . .

Come home when you can,
please.

We're F*ck Ups

A prompt entitled; the night before graduation

The sun was finally setting. The heat was going down for the day and little starts are beginning to appear. though rays of pink and orange still linger in the sky. Truthfully this was a scene of beauty. On the night right before graduation this simple scenery is paradise, too bad it wont last for more than a couple of hours.
There's no more time left in this chapter. No the story doesn't end here, there is still plenty of time left for our tales. Sadly though this chapter in our lives is coming to an end. I hated it, I hate it. I didn't want to let it go, i didn't want to give this part of my life up. I wish I could slow down the tempo, change courses. Funny how life doesn't give you that choice.
I sat on my balcony, over looking the town on this very anxious night. A big cliche I'll admit it, but when you need a moment to yourself and you have the beauty of your small home town slowly begin to glow as the night falls upon it, just cant help and stare. Over the stonewall on the left side of town, a little forest begins. Then on the opposite side the city starts, and here I am. Right in the middle, stuck. I feel trapped, mentally confined and yet I'm being pushed into all sorts of specific directions that I don't want to be put into. School, college, even society want you to pick your life story now before you even start living it! Everyone wants you to know now and how you're going to live your life. The fact that this is okay, expected and accepted is what is crazy to me. That is obscene! Honestly, why though?
Why would we expect young, dumb kids to make a huge decision that could lead to a big fuck up. maybe it adults who are fuck ups who don't know anything. They blame whats wrong on those who are still knew to the world and don't know what to do with the world. then those kids become fucked up adults. and bam, the cycle repeats 
Taking a deep breath and then slowly letting it back out, I bring the can back up to my lips. It's a cheap margarita can, artificially flavored, and the only six pack i could find under my mom's bed. This time. 
"Fuck everything."
"I second that." 
With all strength  had in my body I managed to keep my balance on the balcony and not fall off. 
"The fuck Danny! You scared the shit out of me!"
No longer alone here, I stared at my annoying, smirking ass neighbor. He's got a cute face and sex messy bed hair look but all I can think about right now is how I want to strangle that little neck of his. Well that and how his eyes look really pretty under this lighting. 
"Sorry Lace,  I didn't think you startled so easily." He laughs.
Ass.
I roll my eyes and keep quiet, while occasionally taking small sips from my can. I see him eyes the other cans and sigh shrugging, making a face that reads, "if you want one ask you idiot" he does.
He smiles as he takes a good chug, wiping away any drips from his chin he sighs satisfied. "Thanks for that,' he states, Watermelon, my favorite."
I know.
"You're scared."
he stated that comment, because he knew. He somehow managed to read that off me while no one else seemed to be able. I thought it was clear as daylight, but turns out I'm better at hiding than I thought I was.
But the little chuckles that escape his mouth have me raising an eyebrow.
"I don't get why though. You're staying here, nothings changing, you still get to live the same life. Community college is basically a step from what this year was in high-school. You don't have to worry about the unknown and having to start all over all on your own."
"Wow, that's harsh. No, better yet that's fucked up."
"Lace I'm sorry but it's the truth. Here's my life. New school, new city, miles away and piles of loans. I won't know anyone and I have no idea how I'm going to do it! There it is, plain and simple."
You know that metaphor of the rubber-band? The one where ts being pulled and stretched to the point where it just snaps.Well snap it did. 
"You're an Ass."
"Lace-"
"No,"  I wasn't going to take it, 'You're a fucking asshole! You're sitting here complaining to me about your problems, which is fine! I get it we all need a little time to just rant and yell and bitch! But who the fuck are you to degrade my problems to yours?! Did you not here what you said, community college! I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life, no plans no inspiration! Meanwhile you're going to fucking Brown, full ride to study the dream you've had since you were a little freaking third grade, A-class nerd!"
I snapped, big time. 
"At least you have something going in your life. I get that you're scared, its complete change. But you have something. Me, no. I'm not a genius like you, or a star athlete. Definitely not an amazing artist.  I'm terrified, I'm going to end up as some big fuck up and everyone surely knows it. I'm just hoping I won't come to the day when I believe it, at least completely. "
"I'm sorry. I guess you can sy we're equally as scared and just want to scream and yell at someone." 
For the first time I smile tonight, I grab his chin and force his stare into mine, 
"Listen here Danny Boy, you're a fucked up golden boy nerd with too much to loose. I'm a fucked up weirdo with no where to go. We're somewhat friends who are in the same position now and will be in the same position with a thousand other kids tomorrow at that ceremony. Lets do two things, one, let's not be fuck ups tomorrow. I think we deserve that much. Two, Let's try to enjoy these last few moments."
He laughs, I laugh. 
"Is this the part where we kiss now ?" He whispers
"What? No, that wasn't what, I didn't intend to do that or have you believe that we. . .  That we were gonna kiss "
"Right, right that would be weird. Duh, ha yeah I wasn't thinking." 
"Yeah it's fine, cool." 
"Cool." 
More margarita sips and awkward silences. I finish my can and toss it in the box, I lightly tap the railing, keeping my eyes on the stars. 
They're really pretty. 
"You know, " I breathe deeply, "Maybe after you have to give that big closing speech tomorrow, maybe . . . you could kiss, me. It could like one of those big Hollywood cliches. I mean we can't get anymore cliche than now."
He laughs shaking his head, "Maybe?"
I nod reaching for another can. 
"Maybe."

Hope

Hope

I hope that there will be a boy
I hope that there will be a girl 
Then I hope that there will be another boy 
Siblings 
I hope that the first boy will be strong, but sensitive  
I hope the girl will follow the right path,
but learn how to lead her own 
I hope the youngest boy will hold onto his happiness as long as possible 

As much as one can hope there will always be some form of pain
Some form of  suffeing
Some form of loss 
But I hope most, that these siblings will never loose hope 
No matter who tries to put you down
No matter who tells you No
No matter who tries to make you feel like you're not worth it
That there will always be hope 
I hope for hope

Actions speak louder than words
But words grow from the root of the mind 
Words were nurtured from the soul 
The mind and soul  that recognizes when enough is enough 
The mind and soul that understands that each and every individual deserves their right to stand

I hope for three siblings to have hope, 
I hope they will lift each other up
I hope they will have strong minds and kind souls 
I hope they will help others defend their right to stand 
I hope they will never loose hope, never loose faith, never loose love 
I hope for love